My Life in Cars

Recently, I had boldly made the claim in a Facebook Post that I’ve “owned over 100 cars.”  I should have kept my mouth shut.  I’ve only ever owned 67 (that I can remember).  Here they are in the order that I remembered them in.

If you can think of any others that I’ve owned, please remind me.  I’m a huge car nut, so please feel free to leave any comments about the cars below.  =)

1984 Jeep CJ-7

Yupp, that's me driving...

My parents bought this Jeep in 1986 when we first moved to Hawaii.  It was bought used from Budget Rental Cars.  Being a former rental, it was totally stripped (even for a Jeep) and had a anemic 4 cylinder, 2.5L motor that could barely pull it up a hill in 3^rd gear.

My parents sold it in 1989 and bought it again in 1992 when we moved back to the island.  This is the car that I learned to drive on when I was 11, and drove through most of high school.

1987 Chevrolet Camaro Z-28 (complete with T-Tops)

I got this car when I was a junior in high school and promptly drove it under a semi-truck trailer on the Ides of March, 1995.

1991 Pontiac LeMans

First car I bought by myself.  This was a mistake.  It had an engine knock and I was dumb.

1987 Nissan Hardbody Pickup

My dad helped me trade in the LeMans for this Pickup.  I eventually sold it to my friend Michelle.

1991 Chevrolet Camaro RS
I bought this car because it reminded me of my Z28.  In truth, it was crap with a carbureted 302 and a bad 5 speed.

1989 Audi 100

My first European car!  I named her Isabella after a German monarch.  I loved this car and fell in love with the Audi Type 44. They are incredibly unreliable, but very sophisticated for their time.

1988 Audi 80
This car was purchased for my sister and she named him George (Isabella’s husband)

1986 Audi 5000
1987 Audi 5000 Avant
1987 Audi 5000
1989 Audi 200
These are all other Audi Type 44’s.  I still have soft spot for these and would love to own a 1991 200 20vtqa (that’s 20 valve Turbo Quattro Avant for those of you who don’t know Audis)

1985 Audi 4000
Fun car that broke down a lot.

1991 Nissan 240SX
Bought at an auction in Kapolei and sold to my friend Michelle.  This was a fun car.

1985 Volkswagen Quantum Synchro
The first year that VW introduced the Quantum Synchro.  It was test-marketed in Boston, Portland and Denver.

1985 Volkswagen Vanagon
This van was christened “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” and proved to be just about as reliable as her name sake.  We drove her to Vegas and after breaking down several times on the trip, she finally threw a rod about 6 miles from home on the return.

1986 Volkswagen Cabriolet

A gayer car there never was and Darth loved it.

1984 Dodge Colt GTS

One of my favourite cars of all time!  This thing ran 0-60 in 8 seconds flat, which for 1984 was smokin’ fast!  It had a twin stick manual with, count ‘em, 8 forward ratios.  Lotsa fun!  I paid $35 for this car at the auction in Kapolei.

1980 Toyota Tercel
I also paid $35 for this one at the auction in Kapolei and sold it for several hundred to some guy in Hanalei.

1987 Chrysler LeBaron GTS

This was another fun car.  It had a turbo 4 cylinder, and was pretty quick.  This was also bought at the auction in Kapolei and my mother drove it around Oahu while undergoing chemotherapy there.

1988 Chrysler LeBaron Convertible
Forgetable

1986 Saab 900s
This was the first car I bought in Portland.  Drove it for awhile.

1991 Saab 900
I bought this car sight unseen over eBay and then flew to Florida to pick it up.

1988 Saab 900s
Pretty, mint green and cheap to buy!  I think I just paid $600 for it.

1988 Saab 900s (yes, there have been two of these)

This was the first car I bought after driving the ’06 Ford around for 3 years.  You can imagine my excitement at finally driving a real car after that putting up with that American POS.  You can also imagine my disappointment at being rear-ended a week and a half after buying it.

1991 Infiniti Q45t

Sweet car!  280 horsepower!  Very fast, very posh.  If the tranny hadn’t
given out, it would have been even better.

1993 Jeep Grand Cherokee Grand Wagoneer

More American crap, but it had the 5.2L V8, full time AWD and real simulated wood paneling.

1981 BMW 528i
My first bimmer!

1986 BMW 325
1988 BMW 735i
1986 BMW 7351

1995 BMW 525i
My last bimmer

1988 Ford F-150 Long Bed Extended Cab
I don’t really remember why I bought this, but it was fun for awhile.

1979 Mercedes-Benz 300TD
1988 Mercedes-Benz 420SEL
I don’t really like Benz’s and don think that I’ll buy another one.

1986 Ford Taurus
Crap

1991 Buick Roadmaster
Crap

1994 Ford Aerostar
Crap

1991 Mazda MPV AWD

Awesome van!  Picture this, a 7 passenger mini-van with part time (for better mileage) all wheel drive WITH a locking center differential!!  Can your wannabe cross over SUV do that?

1991 Mitsubishi Galant GLX
Not quite a GSX, but still had the AWD

1986 Peugot 505 sti
Why did I buy this?

1982 Lincoln Mark VI
Blah

1987 Lincoln Mark VII LSC
Very fun car!

1988 Ford Ranger XLT
Crap

1984 Toyota Camry LE
1984 Toyota Camry
1986 Toyota Cressida
1991 Toyota Camry AllTrac
1991 Toyota Camry Wagon
1992 Toyota Tercel
I haven’t really had great experiences with Toyotas…

1998 Ford Explorer
Drover this POS for two weeks and traded it in for my Trooper.

1995 Isuzu Trooper

GREAT SUV!  Huge inside, but with a very comfortable ride.  It was so good that Acura bought it and re-badged it for their SLX.

1995 Acura SLX
See Isuzu Trooper above

2006 Ford Taurus
Crap!  I only bought this because the tranny in my bimmer was giving out and I wanted something with a warranty.

1984 Chevrolet Chevette
Laugh if you like, but I liked this car.

1991 Daihatsu Charade CX
1991 Daihatsu Charade CXL
3 cylinder hatchback and 48mpg long before anyone had ever conceived of a Prius.

1986 Dodge Colt Vista
Kinda cool, I suppose…

1984 Plymouth Reliant
1985 Chrysler NewYorker
1985 Chrysler LeBaron (this one talked!)

Ahh, the K cars….  Better than you may think.

1986 Honda CRX HF
The only Honda I’ve enjoyed driving, but Darth HATED it.

1991 Honda Civic
Blah

1984 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme
1982 Pontiac Grand Prix
Best not to ask.

1986 Volvo 760 Turbo
Bought at an auction and promptly sold it.

1987 Mitsubishi Montero
Fun little SUV.  I’d buy another.

1982 Fiat X-19

Don’t know why I bought it, but I sold it for a little bit more and had fun driving it.

1991 Chrysler LeBaron GTC
Why?

Why My Life Sucks

It’s been a little more than two months since I’ve felt pissed enough about anything to write about it.  I’m sure you all have missed my pointed insights and commentary.  While I’m not really pissed off about anything in particular right now, I’ve come to the conclusion that my life is really really really horrible.  But please, allow me to tell you why.

I hate my job. I do tech support while hating computers and the idiots who think they know how to use them  I spend my days trying to convince customers to continue to use my company’s services while at the same time trying to fix they shit that they broke.

I hate going to school. All of the “Big Bads” in my life have been associated with an educational institution of some kind.  I really feel that “school” has fucked me over.  My most recent experience has shown me that most people who attend community college think that they’re a lot smarter than they really are.  This includes the instructors.  I’m convinced that if any of them were truly successful in their field they would be practicing instead of teaching for the pathetic wages that a public school can afford.

My car is broken.
I recently unloaded my 2006 Ford Taurus and purchased a 22 year old Saab 900 beater.  The heater is fucking blowing cold air and my feet have been freezing since I got out of the shower this morning.

My dog has gas.
No, it’s bad.  My boyfriend has lit a scented candle in an feeble attempt to cover the stench.  It isn’t working.

I’m fat.
According to the Body Mass Index, I’m morbidly obese and will surely keel over at any second with a massive coronary.  If that should happen, let it be known that I would like a memorial service to be held at Darcelle’s.  My remains should be cremated, mixed together with glitter and stored in a very attractive urn in my living room.

In review…
I have a job.  Really, that should be enough.  What’s more, I work for a company that values its employees and I make decent wage.  I am lucky enough to live in a country where public education is accessible to me and I have the intellectual capacity to handle most of my school work without stress, while maintaining full-time employment and teaching a weekly dance class.  My car is paid for, and I really really like it a lot better than the Ford.  Oh, and did I mention that it’s paid for?  Darth has been one of my best friends for the last 10 years and lives for the sole purpose of making me happy.  Sure I’m a bit bigger than I should be, but I also stopped smoking, I have low blood pressure, and I’m still fucking hot!  At least my boyfriend thinks I’m hot.  Oh, did I mention, he’s also the most wonderful man in the world?

As you can see, my life is fuckin’ awful.