Why My Life Sucks

It’s been a little more than two months since I’ve felt pissed enough about anything to write about it.  I’m sure you all have missed my pointed insights and commentary.  While I’m not really pissed off about anything in particular right now, I’ve come to the conclusion that my life is really really really horrible.  But please, allow me to tell you why.

I hate my job. I do tech support while hating computers and the idiots who think they know how to use them  I spend my days trying to convince customers to continue to use my company’s services while at the same time trying to fix they shit that they broke.

I hate going to school. All of the “Big Bads” in my life have been associated with an educational institution of some kind.  I really feel that “school” has fucked me over.  My most recent experience has shown me that most people who attend community college think that they’re a lot smarter than they really are.  This includes the instructors.  I’m convinced that if any of them were truly successful in their field they would be practicing instead of teaching for the pathetic wages that a public school can afford.

My car is broken.
I recently unloaded my 2006 Ford Taurus and purchased a 22 year old Saab 900 beater.  The heater is fucking blowing cold air and my feet have been freezing since I got out of the shower this morning.

My dog has gas.
No, it’s bad.  My boyfriend has lit a scented candle in an feeble attempt to cover the stench.  It isn’t working.

I’m fat.
According to the Body Mass Index, I’m morbidly obese and will surely keel over at any second with a massive coronary.  If that should happen, let it be known that I would like a memorial service to be held at Darcelle’s.  My remains should be cremated, mixed together with glitter and stored in a very attractive urn in my living room.

In review…
I have a job.  Really, that should be enough.  What’s more, I work for a company that values its employees and I make decent wage.  I am lucky enough to live in a country where public education is accessible to me and I have the intellectual capacity to handle most of my school work without stress, while maintaining full-time employment and teaching a weekly dance class.  My car is paid for, and I really really like it a lot better than the Ford.  Oh, and did I mention that it’s paid for?  Darth has been one of my best friends for the last 10 years and lives for the sole purpose of making me happy.  Sure I’m a bit bigger than I should be, but I also stopped smoking, I have low blood pressure, and I’m still fucking hot!  At least my boyfriend thinks I’m hot.  Oh, did I mention, he’s also the most wonderful man in the world?

As you can see, my life is fuckin’ awful.